Today..

Well, today has been a hard day for me. Well, once I got the date correct, that is. I called my mom today and as we were talking, she said "Today would have been your Grandps's 80th birthday." I replied, "But I thought his birthday was the 16th." She said, "Nikki, it is the 16th."

I didn't forget his birthday, but I forgot today was the 16th. Since that conversation, he is all I have been thinking of. I have been pretty emotional. He passed away almost 3 years ago. It is still hard. I spent the majority of today thinking about the fun things we used to do. I decided to let the kids go play outside today for as long as they wanted. My grandpa used to take us outside all of the time. We (and when I say we, I mean my grandpa and my sister) would work in the garden, or do some kind of work. I usually got to sit out of all the work. I'm pretty sure I had my grandpa wrapped around my finger. He would say, "Poor little Nikki, why don't you go inside and rest." As if I was so completely worn out from eating my Grandma's yummo meals and watching cartoons. I know, it must have been all of that hard work playing school with my sister and cousins. I did all the work, because they made me be the janitor, or the cafeteria lady.

We would always walk down to the post office, and Grandpa would point out all of the houses and name who all lived there. He always told the best stories. He would also pay me to eat just about anything. He loved to joke around and sing and dance and just be silly. My heart aches knowing that my kids don't get to experience that, but I know he is in a better place, and he is no longer hurting. I'm sure he is up in Heaven giving God a run for his money!

All in all, today has been a decent day. I just miss my Grandpa. He would have been 80 years old today! I'm sure going to be happy to see him again in Heaven some day.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!! I Miss you!


On a lighter note, Logan has gone 2 whole days with no accidents in his "big boy underwears." We even made it to church and home again with no accidents. I am a pround momma! He is getting to be such a big boy!

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Feeling a bit down on myself...

Well, today was one of those days, where I felt like I was just here. I had no motivation to do anything, although, I still had to.

Recently, I was asked to serve on a ministy committee at our church, which I am very honored to have been asked. Well, I received an email wondering where I would like to be "plugged in" at. I decided what I would do, was email this person back, and give my strengths and weaknesses and according to those, be placed where I am needed or where I would fit in. In deciding to write this email, I called 2 people, I will not mention their names, nor their relationship to me. I am not mad at these people, I hold no grudges for what was or was not said. I just felt down. I asked both people "What do you think my strengths are?" The first response, from both parties was silence...like a minute of silence. The first person then replied, "Well, I guess your strength could be that you are good with kids."

SLAP!

Obviously I know this about myself already because, HELLO!!! I have 3 kids. I was looking more along the lines of skills that I am good at, organized, not organized, creative, not creative...etc.. And then I heard "Well, I'll have to think about it and call you back." Next call, "What do you think my strengths are?" Reply:"..............." Silence. This one was more of a slap in the face than the other one. Here I am thinking, "Ok, apparently, I am not good at anything, I have no strengths..." Then I hear, "Well, I guess you are good with kids since you have 3 of them."

SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP!!!!

Now, I am thinking, "Ok, I am only good at taking care of kids. Apparently I should just become a professional baby maker because apparently that is all I am good at." Well, I ended that conversation. Once again, I am not mad at these people. I guess I just need to do some re-evaluating of my life, because apparently I have no strengths whatsoever. I guess I am just destined to make babies, have them, and care for them. How will I ever be able to go back to work if all I can list on skills is "I am good with kids." Ridiculous. Of course I am going to be down on myself. What a way to spend a day. Not only am I taking care of my 3 kids this day, cleaning the house, feeding mouths, and doing laundry, but I am also having to re-evaluate my life...

Great. What a day.

How will I end my day?

Baths for 3 kids, husband still not home, night clothes for kids, kids in bed, clean what is strewn all over the living room, and realize : right now, it is 7:23, and I have yet to eat a meal.

What a day.

It's off to the bath for the kids. Then I suppose I can get in bed, just to lay and think.

By the way, I emailed this person back and told her what areas I would like to help in and what areas I would not like to help in. I guess I could have avoided the whole situation by doing this first and not calling anyone and asking them anything.

Chalk one up for me on making myself feel down.

Whew...

Well, this past weekend, was LOOOOONG, but that didn't bother me. We had our final Easter services at church. The Crucifixion service was a good service, I saw a little more into what happened when Jesus died. Sunday was our Easter service, and I can't help but smile every time I hear the Hallelujah Chorus. Then we saw our families, not too much to tell. We got home around 4pm, and Addison was the first to fall asleep, then Logan, then Daddy, then Kamryn. I put Kam in bed, then Daddy woke up, and he woke up the kids, we put them in their night clothes and put them back to bed. Thus begins another week. This week so far, has been super busy. Here is my Monday:

6:00 AM: Wake up, shower, curl up under the covers in bed.

6:45 AM: Get out of bed, dry hair, put on makeup.

7:30 AM: Curl up under the covers again, and flip through the channels.

7:35 AM: Drag myself out of bed, and get the kids out of bed.

7:45 AM: Fix breakfast for the kids, get their clothes out of their closets.

7:55 AM: Straighten hair, get dressed.

8:10 AM: Wait for the kids to finish eating.

8:20 AM: Wait for the kids to finish eating....get the diaper bag ready, get everything ready to walk out the door.

8:30 AM: Wait for the kids to get dressed

8:40 AM: Redress the kids correctly in their clothes

8:45 AM: Start fixing Addison's hair

9:05 AM: Rush to get the kids shoes on them, and get them loaded into the car.

9:15 AM: Drop Addison and Logan off at Playtime Plus

9:25 AM: Stop at SONIC for a much needed caffine fix

9:30 AM: Head to the church

10:00AM: Meeting at church

12:15PM: Pick up kids at Playtime Plus, Head over to Pepsi

12:45PM: Leave Pepsi not too happy because it was a wasted trip over there

1:15 PM: Stop at Walmart to pick up some groceries

2:00 PM: Turn on General Hospital, fix kids lunch, feed Kamryn, put her in bed.

3:00 PM: My turn to eat lunch

3:30 PM: Finally check my email

4:00 PM: Clean kitchen and living room

5:00 PM: Start Dinner, decide to make some baby food, get Kamryn out of bed

6:00 PM: STILL fixing dinner and making baby food

6:30 PM: Feed kids and husband dinner.

7:00 PM: Clean up kitchen.

7:30 PM: Realize I haven't eaten dinner yet, get kids night clothes out, fix bottle for Kamryn

8:00 PM: Finally sit down, Feed Kamryn, put her in bed.

8:15 PM: Logan wakes up Kamryn, I get her and try to rock her. She pulls my hair...I scream

8:30 PM: Try to put Kamryn back in bed.

8:45 PM: Get a screaming Kamryn out of bed. Rock her.

9:00 PM: Put a calm Kamryn back in bed.

9:15 PM: Decide Kamryn won't sleep because her belly hurts from her puree'd spaghetti, rock her.

9:25 PM: Get frustrated with Kamryn, put her back in bed. Get myself ready for bed, take medicine to help me sleep, turn on FRIENDS season 3, fall into a DEEP sleep.

What a day!!! It never slowed down. I don't mind that, I have to get used to that when the kids get into all of their activities.

Today, I said "I am going to lay on the couch all day and not do a thing." Has that happened? No. I got up, ate breakfast and got back in bed. Then I got the kids up. I have been fixing food for them, changing diapers, taking kids to the bathroom, laundry, fixing things, laundry, cleaning, have I mentioned laundry? It has been slower today, but I am worn completely out, and I get to do it all again tomorrow. Such is the life of a mommy. Anyways, that is really all I have to say right now. I'm tired...and have stuff to do =)

More hair...

Well, This post is about hair. I can't resist fixing Addison's hair, and putting little pretties in it now. Here is what we did today.

Addison's hair with the gems in it.

The top of her hair...

Side view

back

Top again..

Easter

Well, this isn't going to be a blog about hair, or my kids. This one is a bit more serious, and when I say a bit, I mean ALOT.

So this past week has been following up to today, Good Friday. Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. We had an amazing church service and saw pictures from the Holy Land (pictures my pastor took a few weeks ago.) We got to see where Jesus stood and looked over Jerusalem, the road he rode the donkey down into the city, trees in the Garden, and then the thorn trees from which his crown of thorns was made. It was moving. Just to see where he was the days leading up to his death, is amazing. I can't even begin to comprehend what was going through his mind. I think to myself that if I knew exactly when I was be put to death, I would turn and run in the other direction, just to get away from being put to death. How incredibly selfish of me.

Last night was our communion service. I had never experience communion like this before. This was one of the most moving services I have ever attended, and not much was said. Those of us who were there gathered to remember The Lord's Last Supper. His disciples were told to go to The Upper Room and prepare a table. They knew not what was about to happen. During the dinner, he was betrayed, but he knew that would happen. He broke the bread, passed it around, and said " This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." (Luke 22:19) Then he took the cup, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you." (Luke 22:20) Well, in our sanctuary, there was a table set, with bread and grape juice around every seat, 12 to be exact. There was one chair in the middle, with no food, this chair represented Jesus seat. The 12 chairs around it, represented the 12 disciples. We got to go sit at the table, eat of the bread, and drink of the cup, and just try to imagine being one of Jesus 12 disciples on that one night. Jesus place had no food, why, you ask? He said "I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom." (Matthew 26:29)

The experience of just sitting at a table like the disciples did was not only overwhelming, but also very affirming. I am one of Jesus disciples. Any child of God is a disciple. I was lost in my thoughts as I realized that I am not doing everything that God wants me to do. He wants me to do more, be more. I realized, I want to do more, and be more. I don't want Jesus death to be in vain. I want to live up to what He wants of me. I want to respect Him, and what He went through so that we could live with Him forever. He didn't die because he commited some outrageous crime. HE KNEW NO SIN. He died for us. How unselfish of Him.

I can not say that I have done everything in my life the right way, I have done things I shouldn't do. I have asked forgiveness from those things. Some, I have not done again, some, I struggle with daily. All I can do when I fail Him, is ask for forgiveness. He is always there, with open arms to comfort me, and let me know I am forgiven. How simply amazing is that? When I feel alone, and am feeling down on myself, there is ALWAYS someone for me to talk to, and He ALWAYS makes me feel better. I LOVE that!

Tonight is our Crucifixion service. They are showing some scenes from The Passion of Christ. I am not sure what I am feeling about the service tonight, because what we are gathering for, is certainly not something to be excited about, or happy about. It is a sorrowful event, what happened. But, we know what happens after that, He rises from the dead, and goes to live with his Father in Heaven. We know that He will come again for His children some day, and we get to live in The House of the Lord FOREVER!!!!!!

Goodness, I have chills now, just thinking about it. Like I said, I can't even begin to comprehend what Jesus went through in the days leading up to his ressurection, but I can reflect on what He did for us, and can strive to be better for Him. I can also celebrate that He will come back for me one day!

With all this being said, I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend, and remembers what we are celebrating for. For those who have no idea what Easter is all about, or would like to know more, I am more than willing to talk (or write) it over. Email me.

Happy Easter!

Not today...

Well, I did do a new hairstyle for Addison today, but It was just to keep her hair out of her face. However, the point of this blog is to advertise. I found a how-to on making these cute little hair thingy's. I thought to myself "Hey, I can do that!" So, I did. They are called hair coils. You fix your little girls hair, and then you stick one of these in there, and twist and it stays in place and looks like the "gem" or whatever is on it, is freestanding. They are so cute.. I am still in the process of perfecting mine, but Addison loves them. Anyways, If you know of a little girl or a mom who loves to do a little girls hair, pass this on, and I am more than happy to make some according to what you want (Color, size, and shape) and if anyone wants to buy them, email me, and I will tell you a price, based on what you want. Here are some pictures:

This is Addison's favorite.

The pictures didn't come out very well. These are pink gems and "diamond" gems.

The gems in the hair. They didn't work too well with Addison't hairstyle.

These are purple and pink beads with rhinestones on them.

These are the stars. Haven't put them in her hair yet.

What do you think?

And...again!

Well, here is 'do #3. It is a little spin off of the previous one. I wanted to do something with her hair down. I don't know if this is a little much for Easter or not??

I love the basketweave on top, but I'm not too pleased with the little "pouf" on top...myabe we will try again tomorrow =)